Simon Peter and another disciple were following Jesus. Because this disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest’s courtyard, but Peter had to wait outside at the door. The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the girl on duty there, and brought Peter in.
“Surely you are not another of this man’s disciples?” the girl at the door asked Peter.
He replied, “I am not.”
It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. Peter also was standing with them, warming himself.
As Simon Peter stood warming himself, he was asked, “Surely you are not another of his disciples?”
He denied it, saying, “I am not.”
One of the high priest’s servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, challenged him, “Didn’t I see you with him in the olive grove?” Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow. John 18:15-18, 25-27
We went from overwhelming joy
from the mountain top visions
to the dark and dangerous streets
where you were arrested.
I watched as you were bound and dragged
watched as you were beaten
I watched as they mocked you fully
and stood aside as you bleed freely.
I did nothing but let the fear
like a rabid cancer consume me
holding my back tears and screams
so they would not arrest me too.
I could have done something
more than waiting and wacthing
more than protecting myself
more than my weak frame would allow.
Instead I did the worst thing
one human can do to another
I denied knowing you my friend
denied the love that saved my life.
I could have told them stories
of wonders and miracles great
instead I folded like a shamed boy
to save myself alone I denied you.
My fear is my biggest enemy
my humanity afraid to need my God
my heart is breaking open wide
as I weep in the light of day.
There is so much more we can do
that give in to the fear and hate
we can stand up for the love we know
and shine light on God's beautiful gift.