Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant-girl came to him and said, “You also were with Jesus the Galilean.” But he denied it before all of them, saying, “I do not know what you are talking about.” When he went out to the porch, another servant-girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, “This man was with Jesus of Nazareth.” Again he denied it with an oath, “I do not know the man.” After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, “Certainly you are also one of them, for your accent betrays you.” Then he began to curse, and he swore an oath, “I do not know the man!” At that moment the cock crowed. Then Peter remembered what Jesus had said: “Before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly. Matthew 26:69-75
The clouds are hanging low
and the morning is barely breaking
cowardice and fear surround me
I have again denied the one I love.
They look at me and expect strength
they call me brave, steel and rock
a woman accused and I am subdued
I fall to the floor a wail like a child.
How can God love our humanity
our broken, selfishness and egos
our need to spare ourselves
sacrificing love for our safety?
My savoir and friend looks at me
a heart and mind forgiving even me
knowing my weakness and my sin
love lets me begin again.
And so I will be made over, reformed
still this fragile human, lumpy clay
imbued with the promise of forgivenness
love that knows no bounds.
I will let the nail pierced hands mold me
into a new vessel marked with my sorrow
able to hold more than ever before
equipped to pour love into our broken world.