Mary Letter Day Nine

1 Give judgment for me, O Lord, 

for I have lived with integrity;

I have trusted in the Lord 

and have not faltered. 

2 Test me, O Lord, and try me;

 examine my heart and my mind. 

3 For your love is before my eyes;

 I have walked faithfully with you. 

4 I have not sat with the worthless,

 nor do I consort with the deceitful. 

5 I have hated the company of evildoers;

 I will not sit down with the wicked. 

6 I will wash my hands in innocence, O Lord, 

 that I may go in procession round your altar, 

7 Singing aloud a song of thanksgiving

 and recounting all your wonderful deeds. 

8 Lord, I love the house in which you dwell

and the place where your glory abides.

9 Do not sweep me away with sinners,

 nor my life with those who thirst for blood, 

10 Whose hands are full of evil plots,

 and their right hand full of bribes. 

11 As for me, I will live with integrity;

 redeem me, O Lord, and have pity on me. 

12 My foot stands on level ground;

 in the full assembly I will bless the Lord. Psalm 26

Dear Aunt Elizabeth,

The past week has been very challenging for all of us. Papa was confronted by elders from the temple who told him to consider himself and his family as outcasts. They told him that we are to do our worship of God in private since they do not think that we belong in temple. Our family has brought shame upon the community and upon ourselves. I am so angry and hurt as I know my parents were. You know them, Auntie, they are faithful and humble people, full of charity and kindness. How can our religious leaders cast us out in our time of need? And I feel like I have brought trouble on our household and family. Despite these hard days, we have really been trying to support each other and pray together, despite it all.

Personally, I have also been having some hard days as well. The news that we have to travel to Bethlehem has hit me very hard. I really want to stay here, safely in the arms of parents as the baby as the baby is born. Instead, we have to devise an elaborate and secret plan to get us safely to Bethlehem. I know I'm being selfish, but I am struggling to understand what the Lord wants from me. This is all too much. And on top of it all, tomorrow the wise women come to examine me and I'm terrified! Sometimes, like right now, it seems to me to be more than I can handle.

Auntie, God's plan for me is unfolding in ways that I don't particularly like. I didn't expect ease, but I didn't expect trouble compounded on trouble. Pray for me please, and for Joseph. We are set to be married soon, and he has been so supportive, but he is also so silent sometimes. I pray that God will make me calmer and more patience in the coming days.

Much love,

Mary