Sunday, April 8, 2018

Doubting

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."

But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came.
So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see the mark
of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not
believe."

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors
were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas,
"Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but
believe." Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Have you believed
because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe."


Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book.
But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, 
and that through believing you may have life in his name. John 20:19-31

I was in Big Sky today for a wonderful confirmation service at All Saints' Church, which is a shared ministry of the Episcopal and Lutheran Churches. It snowed heavily last night and was still snowing this morning as I drove from where I was staying to the church. The drive for me was down a winding, snow covered road, and I was going slow much to the annoyance of the driver behind me. After all this time in Montana, I still am anxious when driving on narrow, snowy mountain roads. I do trust God to keep me safe, but I am also willing to admit that I often don't trust myself or other drivers.

We hear the story of Thomas who was somehow not with the others when Jesus came into the room. Now they had all doubted the witness of the women and were hiding in fear. Each of them in the room had reasons to doubt and be afraid. It took Thomas to admit how they had all felt. And Jesus came in and offered his hand and his side, so that his anxiety and doubt could be put aside. His honest humanity helps all of us, who sometimes are afraid and have doubts, understand that God is ready to be with us in the dark moments, the anxious places and with us in our trembling, scary moments.

As this day comes to a close, I ask God to help me look forward to the ministry and the road ahead, knowing that I am never left alone. May we all understand that our doubts and fears are understood and loved by God, and God is with us in our darkest hours.

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