Is it I?

When it was evening, he reclined at table with the twelve. And as they were eating, he said, “Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” And they were very sorrowful and began to say to him one after another, “Is it I, Lord?” Matthew 26:20-22

Did I walk away
when you cried for help was
my heart so transparent
that my polite words
were no disguise?

I thought you were my friend but
when you said you had to leave
I got so mad that I wanted to
hurt someone or go with you or
be something more to you than the others.

Your touch and your voice whispers
when I was broken alone netted in darkness cast
in a rolling sea of despair and hurt fishing
you came fishing for me saved the wreck
the tortured soul and I thought your hand
would save me forever.

The night is upon us now and I turn
my back trembling despite my firm jaw a scar
across my heart opens and I know tonight
will never be understood for who were are
but as a play a drama for all the world.

Is it I who set the wheels in motion can
I stop the train from crashing the gulls cry
I cry the soldiers scream our arrest and violence
are at hand.

Tonight, it is I and we and the whole world
watching reenacting remembered and present bread
broken for lives here and lives to come
and we are all a part of love made real
on the dark night of betrayal.