Mary Letters- Day 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
   He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters;
   he restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths
   for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
   I fear no evil;
for you are with me;
   your rod and your staff—
   they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
   my whole life long. Psalm 23

Dear Aunt Elizabeth,

I am not sure how much further I can go. I am so weary that we have to stop all the time. I try to rest and fall asleep but I am so uncomfortable that I can only sleep for a few minutes at a time. One minute I have tons of energy and the next I have none. I feel like I can barely breathe and the crowds are getting bigger and more oppressive. Joseph is getting very anxious since he has heard there are very few places to stay in Bethlehem. He talks with other men on the journey and they keep saying the crowds are historic and unbelievable. I know we are doing what God asked us to do, but why must it be so hard? And why must I feel so vulnerable, weak and weary all the time? I want to make Jospeh proud but I just seems to melt and fall apart too much.

We might make the city by tomorrow. We hope to have a room then too. We keep praying and reciting the Psalms of David as we walk. We try to remind each other that our Lord has sent us on this journey, that we are not alone...but then someone in the crowd yells at us to get out of the way, and my faith dwindles. When we rest, we hold each other close, which has been the best comfort to me on this journey. I do feel safe surrounded in Joseph's arms. I have had a few more pains, and am hoping that it is nothing. I am surely not ready to give birth and certainly don't want to have this child on this filthy and crowded road. People are rude and rough when they are in a hurry!

I ask for your prayers that my heart might stay steady and faithful in these days. I want mostly to growl at people and I know they cannot understand.

Love always,

Mary