Mary Letter Day Five

Open for me the gates of righteousness; 

I will enter them; I will offer thanks to the Lord. 

"This is the gate of the Lord; 

he who is righteous may enter." 

 I will give thanks to you, for you answered me

 and have become my salvation. 

 The same stone which the builders rejected 

has become the chief cornerstone. 

 This is the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes. 

 On this day the Lord has acted; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:19-24

Dear Mama,

I am doing well here with Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Zechariah. The weather has been beautiful and relatively cool, here in the mountains. Their home is so nicely situated at the base of the hill and next to the river. I had forgotten how restful it is here. It is very odd that Uncle Zechariah cannot speak at all. I know elders grow deaf sometimes, but I never expected one would go mute. Auntie told me the story about his encounter with an angel who told him about our child, and how Zechariah doubted the angel and was made mute. He kept jumping in while she was telling the story, correcting the details with gestures and sometimes writing. They seem very happy and excited about the baby, yet privately I am concerned. They are so old!

Mama, Auntie is quite big with this child, but she continues with her chores with great gusto. She is such a delight to be around as she sings hymns all the time and stops to pray often. They read the scriptures together at the end of each meal and have me participating too. Her faith and life have really given me courage, as did my conversation with Joseph on our trip here. He told me he too had a dream and was told my "situation" was the work of the Lord! I think we both shed some tears then, when we realized we were called to be responsible for this holy child. We didn't make any decisions yet but he promised we would be married and he would care for us both. Mama, I am so grateful for him.

I know I have made your lives miserable from time to time and the child within is making things worse. If I could make it easier for you and Papa, I surely would. I will be home before long, and we can talk and pray things through. Give my love to Papa, please, and don't worry, at least, not too much.

love,

Mary

Mary Letter Day Four

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. 

 He makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. 

 He revives my soul and guides me along right pathways for his Name's sake. 

 Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; 

for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

You spread a table before me in the presence of those who trouble me; 

you have anointed my head with oil, and my cup is running over. 

Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Dear Auntie,

I am so excited to see you! It will be wonderful to be with another woman growing a child for the first time. And, it will be great to be away from home for a time. My parents are worried and fretting all the time about my health and my future. Even though the wise woman told them that I was very healthy, and the baby was well and strong, they still are upset when they look at me. Over these last days, I have come to realize who close the Lord is to me and to us. Fretting and fear get in the way of knowing thar. I am working hard to put fear aside and trust Yahweh completely. What else can I do, really?

The exam by the wise woman was awkward and embarrassing.  Fortunately, Mama stayed in the room with me, holding my hand and comforting me. It wasn't painful really, just so uncomfortable. The exam did make one thing very clear - I indeed had never been with a man. My parents were relieved by that news but still are anxious for my future. I am too, Elizabeth, but I have to trust the Lord. It is difficult when my own folks are trembling with anxiety. I know they love me completely. I will be glad to be away from this fear that has seemed to take over our home.

I am hoping that Joseph can accompany my cousin Jonah who is driving me in our cart to your house. We have a good deal to talk about out of the earshot of my parents. He has been very kind and has gotten over his initial anger at the situation "I put everyone in." He seems to have softened, and I hope to find out why. Well, we're off in the morning, so I will get this letter off to you.

Much love,

Mary

Mary Letter Day Three

Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger; do not punish me in your wrath.

Have pity on me, Lord, for I am weak; heal me, Lord, for my bones are racked. 

My spirit shakes with terror; how long, O Lord, how long? 

Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me for your mercy's sake. 

For in death no one remembers you; and who will give you thanks in the grave? 

I grow weary because of my groaning; every night I drench my bed and flood my couch with tears. 

My eyes are wasted with grief and worn away because of all my enemies. 

Depart from me, all evildoers, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. 

The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord accepts my prayer. 

All my enemies shall be confounded and quake with fear; they shall turn back and suddenly be put to shame. Psalm 6

Dear Elizabeth,

I hope you don't think I'm crazy, but I had a dream or vision last night that shocked me to the core. I don't really know how to handle it. I just have to tell you about it. I awoke to see an angel, bright with warm light, who told me the child within me is holy, planted there by the living God. I was told I am carrying the Messiah of the world! It was so real, I felt faint and began to weep. He told me not to be afraid, for I am favored of the Lord. I said I am a handmaid of the Lord and would do as I am called to do. It was extraordinarily real and overwhelming too.

I told Mama and Papa about it at breakfast, and they looked at me with deep worry and said very little. They are planning to send me to visit you in the next day or so. Mama wants me examined before I go by the wise woman who lives next door. She is kind and a good friend, not given to gossip. I think they are sending me to you to get my troubles out of the way for a bit. I know they are planning to negotiate with Joseph about putting me aside. They believed Joseph when he told them he was not responsible. Joseph was very kind despite the situation. The engagement may be off and I will be on my own! I'm scared.

Auntie, I really look forward to being with you and learning from you. You always make me feel welcomed and at home with you. Please pray for me as it is very hard these days.

Love,

Mary

Mary Letter Day Two

Happy are they who have not walked in the counsel of the wicked, nor lingered in the way of sinners, nor sat in the seats of the scornful!

 Their delight is in the law of the Lord, and they meditate on his law, day and night. 

They are like trees planted by streams of water, bearing fruit in due season, with leaves that do not wither; everything they do shall prosper. 

It is not so with the wicked; they are like chaff which the wind blows away. 

Therefore, the wicked shall not stand upright when judgment comes, nor the sinner in the council of the righteous. 

For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked is doomed. Psalm 1

Dear Auntie,

Well, Mama started asking me many questions about my flow. She said she was concerned as it was not normal for a girl of my age to miss one or two. I finally had to tell her that it was true, no flow, and I was terrified by it. She was kind and said she would have a wise woman take a look at me. Mama looked at me funny but didn't say much more and we went on with our housework. I was hoping that would be the end of it but no!

Later on, Papa told me that we had to talk. He was finished working when he said it and was getting cleaned up for supper. Mama was quiet and I knew something was up. It was a silent supper, and I could eat next to nothing since I was such a wreck. Finally, Papa asked was it true that I had no flow and I started to cry. He got a bit angry with my tears. I couldn't stop crying. He finally screamed "what have you done?" When I could get words out, I told him nothing at all. I have not been with a man. I said,  "even if I wanted to, Jospeh only visited when you were both around." I might have yelled a little through my tears. I rushed off to my room and threw myself on the bed crying. I know it was childish, but I am so full of emotion, and I don't want them angry with me.

Later, Mama came and sat on my bed, stroking my hair. She said Papa is scared for me, that all, and they would figure things out and take care of me. Papa came in too, finally, and told me we would find a way. Auntie, I'm very scared. This is so hard and I don't know why this is happening. I'll write again soon.

Much love,

Mary