Mary Letter Day Ten

My soul cleaves to the dust; give me life according to your word. 

I have confessed my ways, and you answered me;

 instruct me in your statutes.

Make me understand the way of your commandments, 

that I may meditate on your marvelous works. 

My soul melts away for sorrow; 

strengthen me according to your word. 

Take from me the way of lying;

let me find grace through your law. 

I have chosen the way of faithfulness; 

I have set your judgments before me. 

I hold fast to your decrees; 

O Lord, let me not be put to shame. 

I will run the way of your commandments,

for you have set my heart at liberty. Psalm 119:25-32

Dear Auntie,

I cannot seem to stop crying these days. Mama says it's that way for a mother-to-be but I am not normally so overwhelmed and teary. I guess these aren't normal days in so many ways. I have tried to be so faithful and patient with the Lord, but it seems as if we are being overwhelmed with adversity and cruelty. A few nights ago, someone threw a rock through our front window, with horrible written accusations attached to the rock. Papa had been letting me be out with the animals in the garden during the day, but now I'm only allowed out there in the dark, with "supervision"! I feel like a prisoner, and I have done nothing wrong. Papa and the whole family have been banned from temple as well. Fortunately, we know all our prayers and can read scriptures to one another for moral support. But it's so hard!

Mama has finished my wedding dress and Papa has talked with his cousin the Rabbi who will come one evening and marry us privately. He lives a long way away, so it will take time for him to get here but at least we can be official. I was worried the other day that Joseph might back out of the engagement, but he has been so supportive, despite it all. I am really grateful for him, Auntie. He was awfully shy and reticent when we first met, and when this situation came about, I thought he would dump me fast. Instead, he has been tender to me and strong in the face of these challenges that just keep coming. He is making arrangements for our trip to Bethlehem and has kindly included me in all his preparations. 

It has gotten harder to walk lately and a challenge to get up after sitting. I watched you and thought it was because of your age. Sorry! It is so real and weird at the same time. I am getting so big I hardly recognize myself! Pray for us!

love,

Mary