Mary Letter - Day 38

Jesus said, ”I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name.” John 15:1-16

Dear Elizabeth,

This mothering thing is really amazing. And moment by moment, my heart is pulled in so many directions. This child has taught me what love is in a new way. And, this child has brought me great worries that I never had before. We are separate, yet so very connected. I often wake before he starts to cry and he reaches for me before I pick him up. Surprise and delight as well as fear and foreboding in all things. The weight of responsibility I feel is overwhelming. He was brought to be by God and I am supposed to care for this precious one. Yet I feel inadequate to the job, so human and frail, emotions everywhere.

The wise women came yesterday and gave me good news. I am healthy enough to travel in the next few days. I, well we, can go home. I am so looking forward to being with Papa and Mama. This city is smelly and gross, too noisy and gritty for my liking. The thoughts of sitting in our quiet garden, watching my baby grows brings such delight to my heart. I can hear the quiet sounds of birds and animals that surround our home. I miss being grounded and familiar. Here I am always unbalanced and suspicious, often confused by how people talk and live. It will be so good to be home!

I am hoping one of my first visits will be with you. You were so kind to me when I was overwhelmed and you gave me courage to face this responsibility. Thank you!

love,

Mary