Saturday, June 27, 2009
Sleep and Sorrow
Lately I have been falling asleep as soon as I hit the pillows. I am exhausted after long days of lifting, toting, packing and unpacking. My body and brain feel spent. I lose things more easily than normal and home is a new place where patterns haven’t been established. There is a desperate need for sleep, a need for rest brought on by exhilaration and sorrow – the normal emotions of all moves and transitions. The physical work is hard but the psychic work is harder. All of us need routine and when normal routines are disrupted we can easily come unglued.
“When he rose from prayer and went back to his disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow.” Luke 22:45
The disciples were trying to live with the fact that their world was about to be rent asunder. Jesus had tried to warn them of impending threats, and the trial and cross he was to face. They did not want what was to happen and they were broken by sorrow and fear. As Jesus prayed, he too wrestled with the coming agony and trials. No human wants to face the end of life and tremendous pain. Their whole world was about to be torn apart and there was nothing they could do about it.
Today I pray for perspective. For an understanding of the challenges I face today as being opportunities for growth and learning. These small obstacles that come with moving have no threat of destruction and offer community, relationship and growth. I ask that I can move through these days, finding God in the midst of the changes and confusion. I want to trust that Jesus is with me through all of these days. And I ask God to provide love and support for all pilgrims, strength for all of us on a journey of faith and love.