Denying Love

Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple. Since that disciple was known to the high priest, he entered with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest, but Peter stood outside at the door. So the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to the servant girl who kept watch at the door, and brought Peter in. The servant girl at the door said to Peter, “You also are not one of this man's disciples, are you?” He said, “I am not.” Now the servants and officers had made a charcoal fire, because it was cold, and they were standing and warming themselves. Peter also was with them, standing and warming himself. John 18:15-18

Sometimes, when the weather is blustery and stormy we like to watch old movies that fascinate us and make us laugh. We were watching the 1934 version of Cleopatra, a very kitsch version of an age old tale of love, power, intrigue and empires. Hearts are broken, empires felled, friendships destroyed - all while scantily clad men and women dance around the scenes. Throughout the ages people are fascinated by love stories, and particularly with those where denial, betrayal and scheming are part of the plot. And when their historical reality added, it makes the story even more fascinating.

Our Gospel story from John is well into the passion narrative, when Jesus has been arrested and panic and mayhem ensues. Peter, the outspoken fisherman, is caught in a lie. He denies Jesus after promising to be faithful and offer his heart, life and soul. There is shame and embarrassment, self-loathing and horror for Peter, who loves Jesus so dearly. He is also very human, very real and not unlike many of us who would crumble under such pressure and fear. And it is this very broken and imperfect man who Jesus makes the head of the church, the human, living face of the ministry of Christ. For us who read again this story, we can be assured that despite our failures, our denial of love, and the shame we might have caused, God's love is stronger than our mistakes, ready to forgive and renew us.

Today, I ask God for the strength to put the past behind me, ask forgiveness for my mistakes, let go of the things I cannot change, and turn my feet to following God. May the journey ahead be one of forgiveness and compassion. May we accept our brokenness and missteps along the way, asking God to heal us and transform us every day. May our words and action bring love and forgiveness to the lives of those who think they are lost or forgotten. And may God use our humanity for the love and renewing of the world.



Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple. Since that disciple was known to the high priest, he entered with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest, but Peter stood outside at the door. So the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to the servant girl who kept watch at the door, and brought Peter in. The servant girl at the door said to Peter, “You also are not one of this man's disciples, are you?” He said, “I am not.” Now the servants and officers had made a charcoal fire, because it was cold, and they were standing and warming themselves. Peter also was with them, standing and warming himself. John 18:15-18