Mary Letter Day Three

1 LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger; * 

do not punish me in your wrath. 

2 Have pity on me, LORD, for I am weak; * 

heal me, LORD, for my bones are racked. 

3 My spirit shakes with terror; * 

how long, O LORD, how long? 

4 Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; * 

save me for your mercy’s sake. 

5 For in death no one remembers you; * 

and who will give you thanks in the grave? 

6 I grow weary because of my groaning; * 

every night I drench my bed 

and flood my couch with tears. 

7 My eyes are wasted with grief * 

and worn away because of all my enemies. 

8 Depart from me, all evildoers, * 

for the LORD has heard the sound of my weeping. 

9 The LORD has heard my supplication; * 

the LORD accepts my prayer. 

10 All my enemies shall be confounded 

and quake with fear; * 

they shall turn back and suddenly be put to shame. 

Psalm 6

Dear Auntie,

Things are a bit of a mess here. Mama and Papa confronted Joseph about my being with child. He denied every being intimate with me. Then they all started accusing me of having a secret love. No matter what I said about the angel's visitation, they shook their heads and laughed at me. I couldn't help it, I cried and cried and ran outside into the night garden. The air was cool, and I stayed outside as long as I could. I cried myself out and they all left me alone. Joseph left quietly while I was outside. I came in after the noise of cleaning up was done, creeping in quietly to my room.

I didn't expect such a huge blow up and I know I didn't handle it well at all. This child is both and honor and a burden and I do not know how to handle it. I read the Psalms of David at night to calm my spirit. I keep asking God to make me less sensitive and stronger in my faith, but so far, I seem to be all tears and anxiety. Mama has told me that Joseph is planning to stop by later this week. I am sure he will rescind his offer of marriage. I understand, and yet I feel so all alone.

Please pray for me, Mama, Papa and Joseph too. I know God will find a way for me, but right now, it seems so confusing and so messy.

love,

Mary