Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Awake and Waiting

Therefore, keep awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn,or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly.Mark 13:35-36

I am not good at waiting. I am actually pretty much a failure at waiting without a time certain for something. Today I sat in a doctor's office waiting for someone. I read through everything I brought. And still I waited, so I took a walk to stretch my legs and waited some more. And time crawled by. I prayed for a while. And still by the time it was over - the waiting that is - I was tense and flustered. A failure at waiting. And yet, here is Jesus telling us that waiting and awake is how we should be. I want to at least be doing something while I wait. Jesus asking me to wait around. Just hearing those words, I already feel like a failure.

I imagine that Jesus wants us to be awake and aware, more than he wants us to wait around doing nothing. I imagine that God would have us engaged in caring for others and offering what we have. I think he was probably concerned that we would get careless and complacent, secure in our own selves, shutting others out. If that is what God desires, me awake and around concerned for others - well, then that I can do. And I imagine the God of love is more concerned for how we love than how we wait.

Today I want my heart ready for God, for God's love in my life, for the restoration and healing of the broken places. It's too easy for me to give up waiting for those things and to just accept things as they are. I want to practice the art of living with the expectation of transformation. And although waiting is not what I am good at, I want to learn to grow in waiting for God to restore that which I cannot. May we all wait with joy for God's love breaking anew in our lives.

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