I am reminded today, just how human I am, and how human we all are. I want my life of faith to be solid, every growing, a step by step (or leap by leap) forward progression. I want to be able to get beyond my past shortcomings and fully live strong and faithful every minute. I guess there are days when I would rather not be human, challenged and vulnerable. I imagine that others would prefer this too. Today, as I struggle with debilitating back pain, I am reminded how human and how vulnerable I am. Today, I am so human and fragile - and my frailty can lead me to being disillusioned and disappointed with God.
Today is Maundy Thursday, the day in Holy Week where we remember the events of the Last Supper, the Betrayal and Jesus' time in the garden. He asks God to take this cup from him. He wants out of this humanity -this absolute inadequacy and vulnerability. Jesus, being fully God, declares for us all the hideously fragile reality of being human. And so today, this Maundy Thursday, I am choosing to seek God in the midst of the pain and vulnerability in my life. Today, I will seek God in the darkened gardens of my life where my friends have fallen asleep to my struggle. I will seek God in the places of weakness, knowing that God has promised to be present and more than adequate for all my needs. May we all, this Holy Week, rejoice in God, who abides in the midst of our broken humanity, who loves us just as we are, and who is constantly transforming that brokenness and disillusion into strength, faith and resurrection.