Monday, April 28, 2008
My mother doesn't want to worry me
She called to say don't worry, but "I've been dizzy and the doctor thinks it's the medications but he wants me to take it easy". My mom is 85 and pretty tough and pretty fragile- as are we all. And I wish I could tell her that I won't worry but I do, she's my mom and I love her, so I can't help but be concerned. We all live in the fragile balance and no one can number their days. She is active and healthy for 85, but that could change at any time.
What do we do with the worry we have about the people we love? As if worry can change anything? "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1Thes 5:16
Easier said than done, but for me, there is nothing my worrying can do to change the illness, the age or the circumstances. I do know that prayer does change things, even if I don't know how, and even if at times, it is not in my timing. So particularly on days when there is lots of cause to worry, I find it a call to pray. Every time the worry rises up, I try to offer prayer. There is much in this world that is changing, there is much that makes me sad for the lack of justice. There is much to offer in prayer - God is the author of healing and justice, the font of restoration for those who are broken and worrying.
So just for today, I am going to try to pray without ceasing, even if God hears it as whining or complaining. And I will accept today the answers to prayer that I get. And the answers that I don't have yet - trusting that the God of justice, love, healing and restoration is active even when I don't experience activity. For I know from the example of my mother, my father and all the saints that we prayer, anything is possible.