Wednesday, December 13, 2023

Mary Letter, Day Eleven


1 Do not fret yourself because of evildoers; * 
do not be jealous of those who do wrong. 
 2 For they shall soon wither like the grass, * 
and like the green grass fade away. 
 3 Put your trust in the Lord and do good; * 
dwell in the land and feed on its riches. 
 4 Take delight in the Lord, * 
and he shall give you your heart's desire. 
 5 Commit your way to the Lord 
and put your trust in him, * 
and he will bring it to pass. 
 6 He will make your righteousness 
as clear as the light * 
and your just dealing as the noonday.
7 Be still before the Lord * 
and wait patiently for him. 
 8 Do not fret yourself over 
the one who prospers, * 
the one who succeeds in evil schemes. 
 9 Refrain from anger, leave rage alone; * 
do not fret yourself; it leads only to evil. 
 10 For evildoers shall be cut off, * 
but those who wait upon the Lord 
shall possess the land. 
 11 In a little while the wicked shall be no more; * 
you shall search out their place, but they will not be there. 
 12 But the lowly shall possess the land; * 
they will delight in abundance of peace. 
 13 The wicked plot against the righteous * 
and gnash at them with their teeth. 
 14 The Lord laughs at the wicked, * 
because he sees that their day will come. 
 15 The wicked draw their sword and bend 
their bow to strike down the poor and needy, * 
to slaughter those who are upright in their ways. 
 16 Their sword shall go through their own heart, * 
and their bow shall be broken. 
 17 The little that the righteous has *
 is better than great riches of the wicked. 
 18 For the power of the wicked shall be broken, * 
but the Lord upholds the righteous. Psalm 37:1-18

Dearest Elizabeth,

I have to confess to yu that I have given into anger and fear these past days. I am ashamed of my behavior. I haven't been sleeping well, what with having to get up a good deal, and the baby deciding to kick me in the middle of the night. I often go out into the garden at night, since it is the only time I am allowed outside. Joseph came out last night and told me to come inside. I got really angry with him! He was kind and tender, though, despite my tears and my angry words. He put his arms around me, once I calmed down, and we sat out in the night air, wrapped in a blanket, staring up at the stars. He kept whispering, reminding me that we were in this together, and he would be by my side through everything. I woke up this morning with a whole new attitude, and am feeling embarrassed by my volatility. Mama and Papa got a laugh at breakfast. They told stories about Mama, when she was carrying a child, how tears were common, as was sudden fury. I think we all felt better after a good laugh. Being human and following the Lord's way is often very hard!

Mama has been sewing little baby clothes today, as if I was delivering tomorrow! The wise women had some words with her after they examined me, and she is now very worried that the child will come during our trip. No matter how I reassure her, she shakes her head, and keeps sewing! The clothes are simple and plain, She has repeated shown me how to diaper and swaddle a baby, as if I didn't get it the first few times. I think all of us are anxious as the leave taking gets close. There are still several arrangements to make, so it will probably be a few more days. I was hoping to come see you before we leave, but don't think there is time. 

I have taken to reading the psalms, especially when sleep doesn't come. It is so comforting that King David was human and struggled. His words renew my faith and help me to know I am being held in prayer.

Love,

Mary

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