let me never be put to shame; *
deliver me in your righteousness.
Incline your ear to me; *
make haste to deliver me.
Be my strong rock, a castle to keep me safe,
for you are my crag and my stronghold; *
for the sake of your Name, lead me and guide me.
Take me out of the net that they have secretly set for me, *
for you are my tower of strength.
Into your hands I commend my spirit, *
for you have redeemed me,
O LORD, O God of truth. Psalm 31:1-5
From Joseph's diary.....
For all this time I have tried to keep my thoughts to myself and to be strong and faithful. It hasn't been very easy. God promised that things would work out, but it has been hard every step of the way. First the ridicule and the embarrassment at home, then the taxation and coming to Bethlehem, all ending with Mary having to give birth in a stable. Is this the way the savior of the world is treated? On the other hand, our little boy, Jesus, our little son, is a delight and a miracle. I cannot keep my eyes off of him. And Mary, well, she seems to know what to do and is so strong! Every time he cried I feel like the world is coming to an end but Mary seems to know just hoe to settle him down. The local women come by frequently to check on him, and he never seems to be put down when they are around. Passed from arm to arm, they talk and rock and coo all at the same time. I will never understand women but I am sure glad they are here for us.
We have to stay put for a time to make sure they are both strong enough to travel home. The crowding here in Bethlehem is atrocious have not been able to find us a better place to stay. I am ashamed about our accommodations but Mary seems to take it all in stride. The ladies keep bringing us food and casts offs from their babies, so we really want for nothing. I must be more grateful than I have been. I feel so responsible and so helpless at the same time! My hands are getting soft and my muscle weak as we wait around here until we can head back home. Pouring my heart out in written words helps but I am still at a loss as what to do. I hope God will give me a sign and a direction. I pray I can be strong and patient in the mean time.
My prayer these days has been, " make me strong enough when feeling weak, make me brave enough when I am afraid, make me loving enough when I am hurting and help me trust you completely in everything. Amen"