May Letter - Day 31

1 Give judgment for me, O LORD, 

for I have lived with integrity; * 

I have trusted in the Lord and have not faltered. 

2 Test me, O LORD, and try me; * 

examine my heart and my mind. 

3 For your love is before my eyes; * 

I have walked faithfully with you. 

4 I have not sat with the worthless, * 

nor do I consort with the deceitful. 

5 I have hated the company of evildoers; * 

I will not sit down with the wicked. 

6 I will wash my hands in innocence, O LORD, * 

that I may go in procession round your altar, 

7 Singing aloud a song of thanksgiving * 

and recounting all your wonderful deeds. 

8 LORD, I love the house in which you dwell * 

and the place where your glory abides. 

9 Do not sweep me away with sinners, * 

nor my life with those who thirst for blood, 

10 Whose hands are full of evil plots, * 

and their right hand full of bribes. 

11 As for me, I will live with integrity, * 

redeem me, O LORD, and have pity on me. 

12 My foot stands on level ground; * 

in the full assembly I will bless the LORD. Psalm 26

Dear Elizabeth,

The days have turned very cold here. The winter has really set in. Fortunately our little dwelling is warm and cozy, despite sharing it with some large animals. We try to walk during the daylight, careful to stay away from the main roads and the market place. Our hosts continue to provide us with sumptuous foods. And even though we suspect these are leftovers from other guests, we are grateful and full, since we have no way to prepare and cook food here. They are unwilling to take any money from us, although Joseph has been put to work, using his skills, repairing things around the inn. It makes him feel good and I think, keeps him from going stir crazy in this small space. Oh, but he does dote on the baby, playing with him and singing to him day and night. As long as I doing the feeding, Joseph is happy to do everything else.

The census office has been closed for a Roman holiday we don't even understand. Everyone else in this city seems to be working, waiting or shouting in the streets. I look forward to being able to return to our quiet home life. I don't think I am cut out for city life, Elizabeth. It is always noisy, always crowded and always feels dangerous. If the rumors are true, which I am not sure about, authorities seek our child, for what reason, I will never know. It makes me fearful of everyone. I hate being that way. You know I am a trusting and generous person. This place has taken a part of me away. Maybe, being a mother, has also made me protective in a way I never expected. I feel like a mother bear with her cub, ready to growl when a stranger gets near! Well, motherhood has to change us, I guess, and I am so grateful for this little boy.

love,

Mary