Mary Letter - Day 4

When the scribes and chief priests realized that he had told this parable against them, they wanted to lay hands on him at that very hour, but they feared the people. So they watched him and sent spies who pretended to be honest, in order to trap him by what he said, so as to hand him over to the jurisdiction and authority of the governor. So they asked him, ‘Teacher, we know that you are right in what you say and teach, and you show deference to no one, but teach the way of God in accordance with truth. Is it lawful for us to pay taxes to the emperor, or not?’ But he perceived their craftiness and said to them, ‘Show me a denarius. Whose head and whose title does it bear?’ They said, ‘The emperor’s.’ He said to them, ‘Then give to the emperor the things that are the emperor’s, and to God the things that are God’s.’ And they were not able in the presence of the people to trap him by what he said; and being amazed by his answer, they became silent. Luke 20:19-26

Dear Auntie,

Well, just as things were looking up, everything got more complicated. Papa and Joseph have been talking about our wedding, which we now must do quietly. Mama and I have been planning together as well. So far, so good, right? But then, someone caught word that we were to be married soon and blabbed to the religious elders. Some men came over last night, unannounced, barged in and demanded to talk with Papa. Joseph happened to be here. Even though it was late, and the night was very cold, Mama and I were sent out to the garden. We nearly froze to death! The men argued late into the night.

When we came in, both Joseph and Papa were ashen and spent. They told us very little and said it would be all right. Since then, they've huddled together, several times a day. Mama is showing her worry. I go outside at night to pray, as Papa had cautioned me not to go out during the day right now. 

I find it so hard when other people talk about me and make plans for me. They don't seem to think to ask me what I want. I know they're looking our for me. They are acting in love, but it sure feels like punishment. I feel trapped here, despite this being my home. It does help to sit out under the stars and let the worry melt away. Sometimes I imagine what this child will look like and be like. Most times I cannot even imagine being a mother. I know I'm not ready at all. Everyone, including God, seems to be making plans for me! Oh, I'm sorry for sounding pitiful. I just get so overwhelmed so much of the time. 

I think they might try to get me away from here for a time. I have heard Mama suggest it. I hope they will let me come see you! You always lift my spirits and make me laugh. Pray for me please.

Love always,

Mary